Should 您 Have To Pay To Have Lunch With ME?


This post is going to sound overly 傲慢.

Significantly 傲慢.

毕竟我’m “all about 网络ing,”对?我谈论“培育关系” right?

<start arrogance here>

最近我 got an email from someone saying they knew me through so-and-so and they wanted to have lunch with me.  It was more than a “get to know 您 聊天,” it was a “you’ve done this and that and I want to 向你学习.”

I 得到 this type of 自由 lunch invitation regularly.  All the time.

In the past I have 采取 n the opportunity to do it.  I meet with the person, they buy me lunch, I 得到 excited and share 所有 kinds of ideas, and they walk away energized and thankful.


For me, a lunch usually means three hours out of the office, IF 您 meet me at a restaurant close to my office.

After those three hours 我不知道’t hear from 您, ever.  Until the next time 您 want to buy me a 自由 lunch.

当我收到最后一个请求时,我回答说我’d很高兴与对方见面,每小时$ 250。

那 is my hourly rate.


不。 它为N’t good 网络ing.  But I’我经营公司,我必须管理自己的时间。

I could probably swing a 自由 lunch every day for a month. I bet I could.

让’s say that is 20 days.  I will 得到 about $250 of 自由 lunches.  To 得到 that I’ll spend 20 days * 3 hours = 60 hours, in ONE MONTH, on 帮助 people.

那’s nice … 帮助 people for 60 hours.


我说错了吗“give me $250 and I’ll meet with 您?”


彼得·尚克曼(Peter Shankman),他的职业生涯非常出色(<–轻描淡写) 写了类似的帖子 去年基于一条推文:

I know this sounds grossly 傲慢, but there is a real issue here.  It might be about respect.  It might be about valuing the information.  It might be about supply/demand (my time, 您r needs).  I’我不确定是什么问题,但是有问题。

</end arrogance>

也许我’m wrong. 也许我’m missing out on a lot of 网络ing opportunities, and the chance to meet a lot of cool people.

I’ll 采取 the loss, because I have a business I’米跑步。你不会’t 给 您r product, or service, or time, away, 所有 the time, would 您?

我可以’t either.


47 responses to “Should 您 Have To Pay To Have Lunch With ME?”

  1. 杰森– thanks for sharing – yes I know the feeling as I 得到 these kinds of email or in fact emails asking for advice.

    那个人在告诉我什么’s email was the comment “you’ve done this and that and I want to 向你学习.”

    If they want to 向你学习 then they should join 您r mentorship programme if 您 have one. 您 have invested thousands of hours to 得到 to this stage in life and 您r business and there has to be a value placed on that.

    Take a look at 什么 Christopher Penn does on his website if people are looking for advice http://www.christopherspenn.com/contact-me:

    “You can contact me via email by completing this form. If 您 have something that needs my attention, please choose from these pricing options”.

    那里 is always a balance about 网络ing and supporting people around 您 and 您r community and also being clear about the boundaries 您 have to create.

    我不确定有简单的答案– thanks for sharing 您r approach.

  2. 您 have to filter 您r time somehow. as 您 gain visibility and more people seek 您r attention 您 have to develop some filters and rules. It might be hard for a lot of people to justify spending that much for a lunch. On the other hand the folks willing to invest that will probably 采取 a lot more value away from any meeting with cash on the table, just something different about having skin in the game.

  3. 杰森 I do not think this is unreasonable at 所有 and certainly not 傲慢. 您r currency is information and experience so 您 have to charge for it. I think 您 will find that alan Weiss is $500 for the hour and 7 days e-mail!


  4. 这里’s why this situation is tough for me: PR pros meet with a prospective client to sell them before charging. My husband who is a financial planner invites people to lunch to 得到 new referrals. It’s a way to 得到 to know people to see if 您 want to hire them.

    我更喜欢说,我的日程安排没有’t 所有 ow for lunch 会议. Is there something 我可以 help 您 with right now? Then 聊天, if there’s a fit then there’s a point 您 给 您r rates or suggest how 您 might work together.

    It does seem 傲慢 to respond to a lunch request with an hourly rate. I believe it makes a bad first impression because it’s a judgment (you’re too cheap to pay, or do 您 think I work for 自由??!?).

    I’在问问题以找出我是否适合自己时,我的口中口感很差,只是被告知咨询价格。它’不喜欢我们可以查看评论或那里’是处理此问题的标准方法。我不知道’不想仅凭声誉聘请某人,我也需要合适的人选。因为他们有我要提供的东西’t already have.

    我可以 usually tell when someone is clearly trying to 得到 something for nothing. But I try to avoid making them feel stupid.

    那里’s a balance between being sure 您’re paid for 您r expertise and coming off sounding 傲慢. I think 您 could fine tune 您r approach.


  5. 完全同意– 您r words mirror my thoughts, based on experience. Time spent away from the paying biz is money doubly lost, especially in a case like this.

    I love to 网络 and help others too, but when it comes to advising or instructing, the line is drawn. If the request states the inquirer “wants to 向你学习,” offering them the best available option to do that is the appropriate action to 采取 .

    老话肯定在这种情况下是正确的:“no such thing as a ‘free’ lunch.” Ouch! Absolutely.

  6. 杰森Alba 说:


    If 您 or 您r man 得到 a business deal, 您’ll be compensated for the time. If 您 never, ever 得到 a deal, would 您 or 您r husband do the lunch?



    Or they want to talk about being an author, and 得到ting to from where they are to where they think I am.



    I have never had one of those lunches result in a revenue-producing gig because 我不知道’没有东西可以卖给他们。

    I have webinars they could buy for $50, but to be honest with 您 我不知道’我认为我应该只花3个小时(准备时间,开车时间,从办公室出来的时间得到补偿等),才能赚到50美元。

    I bet 您 wouldn’t, either.

    Since I have nothing to sell on the backend, and 我可以’t justify a “free”我在前端吃午餐’剩下的一件事情可以让我继续做生意:可计费的时间。

    Sure, 我可以 go from my one sentence response and make it more flowery, but in either case I 得到 the same response…一旦他们意识到这不是’t a 自由 lunch, but an 投资, they go find someone else they can 得到 to sit down with for a lunch.

    I’ve与“free presentations.” People ask me 所有 the time to do a 自由bie, even to 得到 on a plane for a 自由bie (that’超过3个小时!)。

    您 can guess my response to that one…

  7. 这里有一些关键词“I’我正在做生意,我必须安排时间” and “sustainable.”

    我的一位朋友,一位企业家,对时间和臭名昭著说了类似的话“pick 您r brain”请求。她说,午餐将花费750美元,其中包括午餐期间的专家建议和旅行时间。午餐确实是在办公室最少三个小时的时间– and that’如果午餐时间准时,没有交通或停车麻烦。

    In 您r link to Peter Shankman’一位回应者说,““Actually, 您 were asking me to design a logo which would have 采取 n me a few hours and fifteen years experience. For 自由.” (link: http://bit.ly/bJ8jol)

    And 您 may recall the Pablo Picasso story. He was sitting in a cafe and was recognized. The woman said, “You’re Pablo Picasso! Would 您 draw my portrait?”
    “That’s lovely,” the woman said. “I’ll 采取 it.”
    “That will be $5,000,” Picasso said.
    “$5,000?! 那 took 您 five minutes and 您 want $5,000?!” the woman said.
    “啊,但这花了我一辈子,” Picasso said.

    而且不是’t that really 什么 we’在这里谈论?


    考虑到这一点,它’s important to manage them well to run a sustainable business, as 杰森said.

    也许这句话应该是“给与者收益,有界限。” I think that’符合克里希纳’s statement, “There is always a balance about 网络ing and supporting people around 您 and 您r community and also being clear about the boundaries 您 have to create.”


    Thanks 所有 for sharing 您r thoughts! Good stuff!

  8. A few years ago, I went through a long period of lunches and breakfast 会议 that were very time consuming, and produced no real business. Like 您r situations, it was with people who wanted to 得到 advice – at low or no cost.


    For anyone else, I suggest we have a short phone call to determine 什么 their goals are and if it makes sense for them to engage my services.


    So, no, not 傲慢 at 所有 !

  9. 李智贤 说:


    If 您 don’t want to 给 out 自由 advice, just refer them to 您r website.

  10. 杰森Alba 说:

    @Ji Hyun Lee, thank 您 for making erroneous assumptions about my situation and reasoning.

    Are 您 saying that BG, WB and MZ are three people who are worth it, but no one else is?

    我们的时间不’t valuable?

    让 me invite 您 to 得到 a month of lunch dates and spend 60 hours letting people scrape 您r brain for ideas, and then disappear to never, ever help 您.

    让 me invite 您 to share, and 得到 excited, about 什么 您’ve developed expertise in, and then 得到 used like a dirty mop.

    I appreciate 您r 自由 advice (which was, how should I put this, as valuable as 什么 I paid for it), but 我不知道’我的网站上没有这类信息。

    And, I find most people will just want the time, anyway. I could write blog posts, 文章 s or a book on any of the things I mention in my post, but they would still want to buy me lunch and 得到 my time.


    这是我的业务决策’VE MADE FOR MYSELF.

    If 您 don’不同意,’s fine. I welcome 您 to spend 所有 the time 您 want in those 会议.

    I trust 您 are 在做 什么’s best for 您 and 您r business.

    Which is exactly 什么 I’m 在做 in my business – 什么’s best for me.

    最后,你以为我’在捕食人吗?你在开玩笑吧?他们要东西,我’m naming my price…那对人的掠夺如何?沃尔玛会掠夺需要购买东西的人吗?顾问会掠夺需要他们服务的公司吗?

  11. I agree that it is right to manage 您r time, and it’s cool that 您 charge, but charging won’不是我们大多数人的答案。

    这里’对我有用的东西–我只和我也想从中受益的人共进午餐。即使他们’我是大三学生,他们’re looking for mentoring, I filter people by who 我可以 learn from.

  12. 温妮 说:

    What a fabulous discussion and how brave of 您 to bring this up 杰森 !


    Each of us has dealt with this and while 我可以 understand a person wanting to “pick 您r brain” or “learn from 您”那么我同意那个人要求成为导师/教练关系的一部分。我已经为此设定了费用’确保您这样做了(或者现在就开始!)。

    I too no longer have lunch 会议 with those 我不知道’除极少数例外情况外,其他都不能使用。它’不仅在办公室3个小时,’s an hour to 得到 ready and then an hour to 得到 caught up from 什么’你走的时候堆积的东西。

    我可以分享反映你的故事’我已经听说过,并且我同意,为了建立可行的业务,必须有界限和对不可补偿时间的限制。我将时间和金钱捐赠给慈善机构。对于我的人’我无法提供公益性工作,因此他们可以阅读优秀书籍,而我的书名’m happy to share.

    罗伯特·齐亚迪尼(Robert Cialdini)写了一本引人入胜的书…(另一人),他们讨论了这种情况以及另一方如何做到’看不到你所拥有的价值’ve 给n them. Or if they DID initially by the time 您 decide to ask them for some help (a referral perhaps) they simply don’不要回想起或贬低您为他们所做的工作的价值。

    The example I use is that 您 wouldn’不要期望商店提供免费的杂货。我出售想法,信息和灵感。如果我的工作足以使人想要,那为什么不’t it good enough to 得到 paid for it?

    简而言之,正如一位受访者所说,我试图澄清该人正在寻找的东西,并为此提供解决方案和我的定价。如果他们真的想要“network” with me then I’我很高兴分享我在当地的演讲机会或活动的时间表’我参加并邀请他们注册。一世’从来没有任何人参加。


  13. 肖恩·史密斯 说:

    I feel most people do not know 什么 they want.
    如果人们可以’t 给 me more details on why to meet in person, (what they need help with) I have to say no as I have a day job too.

    Always happy to help others, but PLEASE, have an idea of 什么 kind of help is needed.

    And IF 您 really want to stand out after a meeting like these, “circle back”告诉我情况如何。

  14. 杰森

    我不会将您归类为‘arrogant’. I’d实际上将您归类为‘wise’. Wise in understanding the value of 您r own time and 明智的 in giving people something to really consider in how they are respecting (or disrespecting) the expertise 您 have behind 您r products and services. I understand 您 have come to this decision not because 您 want to, but because people somehow are 所有 excited to 得到 您r good advice, then seem to either squander it or forget where it came from. Hence, they do not follow up. And 您 are finally fed up.

    我发现您在此方法中的智慧突显了我们心理中已根深蒂固的内容…and that is ‘you 得到 什么 您 pay for’. I bet ‘dollars to doughnuts’ that if 您 给了 the SAME EXACT advice to a person over a lunch for 自由 as a person who paid for 您r consultancy, person B who paid is more likely to value and implement 什么 they learned from 您. Soooo… then I deduce 您 are actually 在做 them a favor by stating 您r price 😉

  15. 杰森– Certainly an active discussion! I remember 您 talking about the 网络ing process as relationship 投资 and I think this is the part that people are missing when they approach 您 with only a “what’s in this for me?” attitude.

    我同意沃尔特(嗨,沃尔特)–most of us should be able to make choices about 什么 we do pro bono and 什么 talents are shared for a fee.

    感谢您邀请我们所有人参加这个敏感且有时引起争议的主题,因为我们大多数人都可以分享有关“feeling used.”我知道您的博客将使人们仔细思考如何为网络机会做准备并展现自己,因为它可能是品牌杀手或令人赞叹的体验。这是一个有目的且有意识的选择!

    保暖!新年快乐– Sunitha

  16. 很棒的讨论。

    I 得到 the same thing, and try to be patient, recognizing that most people don’t recognize their faux pas (and that I likely did the same thing to others in my 您nger years of business). :/

    类似于“lunch invite” is the request “来经营合资型的商业想法” or simply “to chat.” I’d喜欢与每个提出要求的人交谈,但不会’t be humanly possible to do that and 得到 the work done (that, by the way, 所有 ows the company to make payroll, pay bills, etc.).

    我现在有一个模板(用gmail“Canned Response”)感谢该人与我联系,对我日程安排的复杂性表示歉意,’没有足够的见面空间,并就如何提出一个商业想法向该人提供了一些指导,或者对于那些只想“chat,” asks if 我可以’通过电子邮件回答问题。

    如果他们发回一个(或两个)问题,我’我会尽力回答。如果他们还有更多,我’会转变为咨询/辅导模式,并提供一些“investment” options for that!

  17. 李智贤 说:


    Like 您 said in the beginning of this post, it’s simply 傲慢. 也许我’我将只写另一篇有关此的文章。

  18. 很好的讨论,杰森。好吧,主要是。




  19. OOh 杰森–您可以随时将其移动到不太理想的地方!开玩笑。我觉得你’re 在做 the right thing. 您 must draw boundaries in situations like that. 您 are 您r product and therefore 您 have to charge for time with 您.

    Time is a commodity so either sell it as 您 are OR write a book, webinar and or film a how-to video for 您r top lunch topics. Or, start an e-series and sell it.

    I recently read something that Chris Brogan said about 会议 – they shouldn’持续20分钟以上。

    Keep 在做 什么 您’re 在做.

  20. 我今天早上醒来真是一次很棒的对话! ; )我认为工作的人和我们一样— basically “helping” people —总是处在这样的情况下:’小心边界。当我刚开始的时候,我以为我专注于吸引力定律..“give” to “get” —但也许在更小,更肤浅的层面上。我发现更多“gave”我吸引了更多想要的人“take”。随着时间,成熟度和自我反思,我认为我们都达到了坚定地评估我们的时间和知识(以及我们对该投资的决定)的立场。有时需要提醒我们坚定。今天早上的谈话对我来说是个新的提醒。

  21. Hi Sunitha! Great to see 您 in this discussion! A good one!

  22. and when 您r business gathers more momentum, and 您 believe in it more deeply, 您 may start replying more like this:

    “thanks, I appreciate 您r interest in picking my brain, but I’m过度使用。也许其他时间。”


  23. 这里’s a quote from financial guru Suze Orman, which I think is truly relevant to 所有 of us participating in this conversation: “When 您 undervalue 什么 您 do, the world will undervalue who 您 are.”


    并向Walter Akana喊:毕加索的故事,谢谢。我喜欢这个故事,并觉得它很好地说明了这种情况。

  24. 作为记录,自从我被提及以来,’一个小时的电话费和一个星期的电子邮件费用为1,000美元,但这是我更昂贵的指导计划和研讨会的加速器。我永远不会免费帮助别人,因为我的建议太有价值了,我不会’不要相信言外之意,“I’m owed….”

  25. 杰森 什么 an interesting discussion!

    我希望您的时间和专业知识得到补偿,这没有错。我唯一要提出的建议是,不要让别人觉得不好问。以我的经验,他们只是不’t know that they’重新跨过一条线…否则他们会认为’t hurt to ask … or maybe they were referred by someone who DID 得到 您r 自由 advice over lunch. So it’无知而不是贪婪或暴躁。

    But I applaud 您 for 您r decision! Now 所有 您 need to do is find a nice diplomatic way of responding to these requests, because undoubtedly 您’ll 得到 more.

  26. 杰森


    It’s 所有 about timing. I think this particularly struck a vein because right now, at this very moment, 您 are very busy. 您 are working on 您r business, have numerous projects going, and 您 already have enough work to do. Why would 您 want to 采取 time to let someone 选你的大脑 when 您 are so darn busy? Picking 您r brain does not define, for most of us, enough of 什么 the person really wants. What DO they want out of 您r brain? What is their underlying motive? How can 您 justify 3+ hours out of office that might lead to endless emails and phone calls wanting more…for 自由? TIME IS MONEY.


    我收到了许多以“我只想坐在晚餐或午餐时动动脑筋”开头的邀请。我已经有人告诉我他们会付钱给我去他们的办公室,或者来我的地雷,以便他们可以吸引我的大脑。我什至有人说他们会“fly” to my office, or “fly”我去他们的办公室。而且,我说的是,但这取决于他们的议程,也取决于我的议程。



    Possible solution. Have 您r lunch date create an agenda. This will make him/her think ahead and 得到 organized before the brain picking begins. Once 您 得到 the agenda, if it is appealing, 您 can determine if there is opportunity for 您 as well. 您 can tell them 您 are flattered that they want to 选你的大脑, then 采取 advantage of the opportunity to demonstrate that the $250 (or even a higher number) is going to be a fabulous 投资 in ______X (whatever X is…back to their agenda…获取信息并将其用于您的优势)。准备您的议程和建议。向他们展示如何帮助他们,以便他们了解您的时间和专业知识值得他们投资。

    To help them come up with an agenda, 您 could ask the following:

    Which part of my brain do 您 want to pick? I have a myriad of topics I consult on.
    What are 您 hoping to learn?
    Are 您 willing to do some “homework” before we meet?
    救命 them understand that time is money and if they are serious about picking 您r brain, they should be prepared for a commitment=investment.
    Try to 得到 a feel for 什么 they are looking for, so 您 can determine IF 您 are interested.

    Recently, I helped a high-profile client land a federal job. She said, “If 您 ever 得到 to DC or Maryland, I would love to 采取 您 to lunch and/or dinner and 选你的大脑.” I asked her to send me an email with 什么 she wanted to 挑我的大脑 about. 这里 is an excerpt from the email:


    One of the questions I coached her to ask during her interview was to find out their highest 事前ities and 什么 they needed done right away. I helped her outline a plan in her job proposal (thank-you letter) which demonstrated my value to her. Having her create an agenda solidified her need to have me help her, instead of “if 您 ever 得到 to DC…”


    Bottom line: If 您 find out 什么 they want to 选你的大脑 about, and it is something 您 are interested in or passionate about, 您 might consider taking the opportunity to show them the value of 您r consulting. Then maybe 您 will want to buy them lunch. I will definitely be buying my client lunch when I 得到 to DC, but until then, I did send a gift certificate for Ruth’s Chris. =)

    I do not always charge, but how will 您 know if it should be pro bono, or a consultant fee until 您 find out 什么 it is that they really want? Just a thought.

    Good luck, 杰森 . 让 us know 什么 happens!


  27. 邮局 说:

    这不是’t 您r arrogance – it is 您r insecurity. This blog post is purely designed to draw attention to 您.

    Also, 您 should recognize that it was probably 所有 the 自由 lunches and 网络ing that built up 您r demand to 得到 您 to this place. Hopefully if 您 are lucky, the demand won’退缩后,您将被迫退回免费午餐。另外,我不’不知道你是谁,你的业务是什么,但听起来你需要更多的人“doing” for 您 so 您 can 得到 out and evangelize. In other words, don’t 采取 您r current demand for granted.

    Lastly, 您r 每小时费率太低 for 您 to be acting this way.

  28. 杰森Alba 说:

    @LAMEPOST– Nathan, the least 您 could do, if 您 are going to say something that strong, is not hide behind a fake name. Come out.

    >> 这不是’t 您r arrogance – it is 您r insecurity.

    唐’t know where 您 got that from. Most people would so I’m overly 傲慢 and have hardly any insecurity. 您 lost me here.

    >> This blog post is purely designed to draw attention to 您.

    Isn’t that 什么 blogs are for? To draw attention? 您 got it wrong on this one, though. I think this post is quite cocky, and not inline with most of my posts. I have no reason to bring the attention to me.

    >> Also, 您 should recognize that it was probably 所有 the 自由 lunches and 网络ing that built up 您r demand to 得到 您 to this place.

    好点子… although I disagree. My book was the main thing that got me to the point of 得到ting invited to lunch a lot. And being the CEO of my company is another… I’我想着想像我吃多少午餐’ve had that have led to something big for my company and 我可以 count them on … maybe one finger.

    >> Hopefully if 您 are lucky, the demand won’t subside and 您 will be forced back into 自由 lunches.

    好点,我同意你的看法。也许我’我在这里看着礼物马,当我得到它的时候应该欣赏它。但是,我必须对此做出商业决策。免费获得午餐并没有’一定让我受益–那我应该去吗,仅仅因为有人在我面前悬挂免费薯条?休息一下… 我可以’想象不到您会进行上述场景(每月花费60个小时来做​​这种事情)。根据您开始的业务和推文,您似乎是个聪明人。

    >> Also, 我不知道’t know who 您 are and 什么 您r business is

    I invite 您 to figure that out before 您 come out with such a strong opinion of my position, then. Isn’一无所知但两个拳头都摆动着出来真是kind脚吗?

    >> but it sounds like 您 need more people “doing” for 您 so 您 can 得到 out and evangelize.

    作为专业演讲者,我’ve spent plenty of time 得到ting out and evangelizing. My time at the office is well-guarded. I’我希望有一个更大的团队,并专注于传福音,但我在这篇文章中的意思是,我将要见面的人不是传福音的人。如果您阅读了其他一些评论,’ll see that a lot of times these types of 会议 are with people who focus on taking, taking, taking. Evangelizing to a 采取 r 得到s 您 nowhere fast.

    >> In other words, don’t 采取 您r current demand for granted.

    Point 采取 n. However, if 我不知道’t 得到 one more invitation to lunch I’可以,因为我还有其他事情要花时间。

    >> Lastly, 您r 每小时费率太低 for 您 to be acting this way.

    代理什么方式?一世’我还不够珍惜我的时间?或者,我’我不值得,直到我’是否已达到比尔·盖茨的身分(如先前的评论员所述)?你是说我吗’m too low on the totem pole, and because of that I should let people 采取 advantage of my schedule?

    I’我在谈论我控制自己的日程安排。它’就是这么简单。我不知道’t understand why 您 (and some others) have such a hard time 得到ting that. This is MY personal business decision. It’不会影响您或您的公司,也不会使世界陷入另一个星系。它’s just the way I’我现在正在经营我的生意。

    OR, I maybe I misread and 您 think I should charge $500 an hour, since my “每小时费率太低” ….

  29. Great post, 杰森 . Thank 您 for sparking comments on both sides of this debate. I also 得到 a lot of “pick 您r brain”要求,这篇文章对如何婉转地接受或拒绝提供了很大的帮助。

    卡米尔’s response is spot on. It is important to find out 什么 they want from 您 before declining. Her suggestion of an agenda is terrific. Not only does that save time but it shows how serious the requester is.

    关于尚克曼的有趣之处在于他非常友善。他的网站上有一个日历,详细列出了他的去向,并鼓励粉丝与他见面喝咖啡。我有一个朋友在他发推特消息说他在机场后确实与他会面。那次会议对她来说意义重大,她最终以社交媒体会议的形式召开了会议。“picking his brain”。作为记录,我不’没想到他向她收取了400美元,但后来她又没有’发起会议“I’d想动脑子” email…


  30. 肖恩·史密斯 说:

    I always appreciate when others can 给 a different point of view, even when I may not agree with their view.

    With that said, PLEASE publish 您r name, email and phone number. I’m happy to send hundreds of people to 采取 advantage of 您r offer.


  31. 内尔登·德姆克 说:


    I’是博客和该地区的新手。这个博客占用了我太多时间,但是非常吸引人。我确实邀请您出席我们的Riverton就业中心网络会议。一世’m sure 您 know it’没有补偿,但是我发现您需要专业的知识和专业知识来寻找这些成员。

    内尔登·德姆(Neldon Demke),SPHR

  32. 如果这种情况经常发生,我建议您投资其他网络。然后,不时有人会犯一个错误,可以在短时通话中设定期望值。增值和良好的业务开发成本可为您带来大量的推荐和周到的询问。每个人都会学习,你是个好人。

  33. Good 文章 杰森 and good for 您 for making a choice to charge for 您r time.

    要回答标题中的问题,“我应该付钱与我共进午餐吗?”答案很简单:如果我重视您的专业知识足以为您购买午餐,那么我应该重视您的时间以支付您的小时工资。如果我不这样做’t, then I shouldn’t。那就是我的选择,而不是你的选择,那’s really 什么 您’re 在做 by putting the cost out there.


    NOTE: This is NOT to say that I always charge for lunch with me either, merely that if I feel 您’我不会滥用我的时间/才能/宝藏,但我保留这样做的权利。


  34. 我没有’没有阅读评论,但我确实阅读了帖子。您应该阅读(或重新阅读)‘爱是杀手级应用’。午餐永远不会使任何人破产。如果不是’午饭,w /比我了解更多的人,我’d还要落后!另外,午餐可以保留一个小时。如果您只是在办公室附近就餐,并且事先告知您一次只能开会一个小时,那么3个小时就是’t necessary.

    I think Karma will work against 您 on this one. My suggestion: reconsider 您r solution to lunch requests.

  35. 非常有趣的文章。一世’ve read through it and the comments a couple of times. 好点子s 所有 around.

    I’我不能一个月被要求吃20次午餐,所以我不能同意或不同意你的想法’从未亲身经历过。我也不了解您的生活方式或情况。我只有一个建议:您考虑过要“office hours?”就像大学的教授每周一两天都是开放的时间,也许您每周可以有1-2小时的15-30分钟的时间,让人们与您预约,或者刚露面。这些将在您的办公室消除通勤时间。与教授一道,遵循这种模式的是知名的技术人员。那里’甚至是专门用于管理小时数的站点。除了在一次会议上见过@innonate之外,我与该站点无关。但这看起来是个好主意: http://ohours.org/


  36. 兰德 说:


    另一个很棒的话题。看到某些人必须为其他人付出的敌意总是很有趣的’s time. They would never ask for a store to 给 them a $20 shirt for 自由, but have little problem asking for hundreds of dollars in other people’s time.

    I think 卡米尔’s comment is profound and I am going to print it out and 给 it to my employees.

    I do not think the concept of 您r post is 傲慢. It is simply saying that 您 need to 得到 paid for 什么 您 do. If I 采取 the owner of the local electronics store to lunch should he 给 me a new IPhone?

    The challenge for me is saying 什么 您 have said gracefully. Networking is valuable – giving away 您r wares is commercial suicide.

    我认为无论您是吃午餐还是长时间咨询服务,都归结为您想在这种关系上投入多少。我一直在做免费午餐或做其他免费工作。 (“嘿,兰德,您能看到与此有关的任何法律问题吗?”)。但是,除了收到潜在客户的电话以外,我仅在请求涉及我要投资的客户时才这样做。即使某人不太可能成为付费客户,也可能有其他原因需要投资该客户。这可能是对朋友的青睐,或者这个人听起来很有趣,我想更好地了解他们。例如,社区中有许多博客作者经常打电话问版权和商标问题。我很高兴去吃午餐或在电话上花费15-20分钟,因为我感谢他们在对话中的声音。如果所需的费用不止于此,我可以随时按照自己的速度提供服务。

    我认为可能有帮助的一件事是控制您的投资。设置特定的限制。任何值得与之会面的人都会理解。在您的办公室或下次约会附近选择一家餐厅。告诉对方您的时间限制。“我很想和你共进午餐。“我在______的时间是1:00,所以我只有30分钟。” 那 给s 您 a chance to 得到 to know the person and help a little. If 您 have been helpful, they can then pay for 您r consulting services. If they are simply looking for 自由 consulting, that will end things. In a way, 您 are really 帮助 the person by teaching them to respect other people’的时间。缺乏了解可能是他们需要您帮助的部分原因。


    至于业力– I would set aside one day a week to do these types of lunches. Investing 5 hours a month is reasonable and 您 may very well meet some people who become long term assets –专业或其他。

    BTW– are 您 up for lunch?

  37. 安东尼·安德烈亚拉 说:




    但是, ’很容易消除这些会议带来的指数性的,可能是无形的,不太明显的好处。如果有人与您联系,我认为有人告诉他们关于您的好消息。像JibberJobber一样依赖网络– correctly –潜在的网络联系无法获得的影响可能是惊人的。

    现在,如果你’重新寻找想法,或从中支出250美元的有形投资回报“opportunity costs”在午餐时和某人一起拜访’根本不会发生。但在这儿’另一个角度– first, i don’认为限制您的时间是不公平的’d devote to these “meetings”到星期一或星期二等

    其次,我’ve发现,让人们保持清晰,专注于他们对我的需求并将其放在电子邮件中,可以为我提供两点。然后,我便有了一个议程,可以从中进行准备,也可以重新设定期望值(例如,所需时间等)。也许短暂的15分钟的咖啡会议将向请求者致意’的需求。另外,由于我的头衔,请求者经常需要我。如果我能’t or don’不想参加会议,了解他们的特定需求可以让我委托–满足了需求,保护了我​​的平易近人并尊重了我的时间。

    总而言之,我认为“NO” fails to consider the 网络ing power. If 网络ing were, as 您 imply, only beneficial under a quid pro quo mentality, it wouldn’t work.

  38. 肖恩·史密斯 说:


    我清除它们的一种方法是:是否(1)不清楚他们的需求(2)不要’在电子邮件中包含电话号码。对我来说,有时候’s faster to call and (3) best time to 得到 back to 您.

  39. It’s a tough balance to 得到 right between 帮助 out and running a business.

    My clients pay me a substantial amount to do 什么 I do, an amount that most of the people who ask me for a favour could not believe or come close to matching.


  40. 说:

    It’s not 傲慢, it’s business.

    We’在一个人们为我们付出时间的行业中。我们的客户会向我们支付“pick our brain” – that’s the industry we’re in.

    仅仅因为有人想预订我下午1-2点之间的时间,’t make it 自由. And buying me a £20 lunch doesn’t make it 自由 either.

    最近我’我已经开始和我一起吃午餐,这是我的指导计划的一部分–一个额外的机会“pick my brain”。如果有人想在没有周围指导的情况下购买’re welcome to enquire, and they 得到 told my rate.

  41. 我可以’真的无法想象你在哪里’re coming from because 我没有’t had people begging for my time, by 我可以 understand that 您r time is valuable. However, why not offer to talk over a chat and save a little time and inconvenience, but still help someone? I owe a lot to so many good people who’ve helped me along the way. I only hope 我可以 someday help others the way I’ve been helped.

  42. […],在2011年2月15日的“网络”一书中,几周前,我写了一篇题为“您是否需要付钱与我共进午餐?”的矛盾文章。我的朋友Dawn Bugni向我发送了一个链接,链接指向Sheila Scarborough的幻灯片演示,内容涉及[…]

  43. 哇,杰森!我想要您的账单利率!

  44. 我知道我’我在这里进行讨论有点晚了,但是(去年)我不得不分享我关于想要建立一个全国无脑采摘列表的想法,该列表包括一个有趣的图形和指向该主题的其他人的帖子的链接:


    Also, I found that offering an introductory rate, via 什么 I called a 50-4-50 offer, helped weed-out the “doles” (nod to 卡米尔) and even turned into lead generation for a few awesome new consulting clients:


    Glad 您 started this discussion 杰森 ; lots of great insight and comments here! Sandy

  45. 杰森

    I love this post. So true. I have been in the same situation lots of times and I totally 得到 where 您 are coming from.


  46. 沙龙 说:

    我完全同意你杰森。我有“friends”他们只有在需要建议时才打电话。花一个小时或更长时间倾吐他们的内心和问题。一世’ve 给n advice that has lead to job opportunities and job offers without so much as a thank for my “friends”。现在,我说要支付职业建议和简历的费用,如果您仍然想购买午餐,请在一天结束时支付’s fine too.

  47. 马克 说:


    I think it is 您r turn to pay to 采取 me to lunch…..